The Apology
Robinhood's excuse for halting buys was slow settlement. They spent five years and a billion dollars building a blockchain to fix it.
This coin lives on the apology.
THE THESIS
ABOUT
@0xDeployer and @bankrbot just dropped a fucking banger. Their new update allows you to pair tokens with actual real stocks. No more watching your shitcoins fluctuate based on volatile crypto moves. This update will change the assets we trade and pave the way for deeper RWA liquidity, just as Robinhood's team has envisioned.
What better way to ring in this new feat than to pay respects to the king of memestocks, GME?
Now when GameStop enjoyors win on their conviction, SO DO WE.
We have the chance to create a modern day meme-driven short squeeze. A true web 3 Robinhood story. You trade the meme, which forces Robinhood to purchase and wrap more GME stock, which means less GME in circulation available for big hedge funds and more into the pockets of memecoiners. We take from the big guys to feed retail believers.
You wanted a true tokenized version of the GOAT of retail investing mania? Well now you have it.
We like the stock.
THE HISTORY
THE LORE
Everything below is real. That is the joke.
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SEPT 8, 2019
THE YOLO
A user named DeepFuckingValue posts a $53,000 bet on GameStop. The stock is $4. Everyone laughs.
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JAN 2021
THE SETUP
Short interest reaches 140% of the float. More shares are sold short than exist.
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JAN 26, 2021
THE TWEET
"Gamestonk!!" — @elonmusk, 9:08 PM
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JAN 28, 2021
THE BUTTON
GME touches $483. Robinhood restricts the stock to position closing only. You may sell. You may not buy. By lunch it trades at $112.
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FEB 18, 2021
THE HEARING
"A few things I am not: I am not a cat, I am not an institutional investor, nor am I a hedge fund… I like the stock." — sworn testimony, United States Congress
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MAY 18, 2022
THE FUNERAL
Melvin Capital, the fund that shorted GameStop, shuts down. F.
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MAY–JUNE 2024
THE RETURN
After three years of silence, Roaring Kitty returns — one wordless tweet, May 12. By June 13 his final screenshot shows 9,001,000 shares.
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JULY 1, 2026
THE CHAIN
Robinhood launches its own blockchain. Nine days later, this.
The hedge fund is dead.
The video game store is a Bitcoin whale making a $55.5 billion bid for eBay.
And the coin lives on the buy-button company's blockchain.
THE PREMISES
SCENE OF THE CRIME
Entered into the record, for whoever is keeping one.
The Rent
Robinhood earns network fees on this chain. In 2021 they turned off the buy button.
Now they get paid every time you press it.
The Geography
Robinhood Chain's tokenized stocks are live in 120+ countries. The United States is not one of them.
American apes still can't press buy — except on this.
The Fine Print
Yes, we know: the chain runs on a centralized sequencer, so technically there is still an off switch.
We find this funnier than you do.
TURN OFF THE BUY BUTTON
Not affiliated with Robinhood Markets or GameStop Corp. Obviously.
THE INSTRUCTIONS
HOW TO BUY
Four steps. None of them can be turned off at 3:30 AM.
GET A WALLET
MetaMask or Robinhood Wallet. Any EVM wallet works.
Self-custody. Nobody can restrict your account while you sleep.
ADD ROBINHOOD CHAIN
One tap, or enter it manually. ETH is the gas token.
- Chain ID
- 4663
- RPC
- rpc.mainnet.chain.robinhood.com
- Symbol
- ETH
- Explorer
- robinhoodchain.blockscout.com
BRIDGE ETH
From Ethereum or Arbitrum to Robinhood Chain.
Arbitrum Portal canonical · ~10 min
Relay · Across fast
PRESS BUY
Open Uniswap on Robinhood Chain, paste the contract, swap ETH for GME.
OPEN UNISWAPThe button works now.
VERIFY THE CONTRACT
The only contract is:
Triple check!
THE LOOT SHEET
TOKENOMICS
Clean numbers. No tricks. $GME belongs to the people.
THE PLAN
ROADMAP
- PHASE 1: THE SQUEEZE 2021 · complete
- PHASE 2: HODL 2021–2026 · you are here
- PHASE 3: MOASS (Mother of All Short Squeezes) perpetually imminent
There is no formal team or roadmap. There never was.